Family

What is a Family?

When I think about family, it means all sorts of different things to me.  I left home at 18 and lived a long way away from my nuclear family.  Although I kept in constant contact with my mum and dad, who were a great support to me, I needed more than that.  I needed to find people close by who loved me and would be "on hand" so to speak when I needed them - up close and personal.

Initially I sought out Aunties and Uncles, cousins, and made special friends. These people were my family. When I ventured away from the halls of residence, where may I say, those people had become my family by then - I started meeting neighbours, people at work and building networks around me.  This practise has continued through my life and I have had some wonderful neighbours and friends which I consider part of my family still.

When I had young children, and my parents were still very far away, I needed more help - the kind a young mum needs. I would have loved my mum to be close by, but she wasn't.  I found a couple of lovely older women, who supported me as a mother would.  One of them had actually been a friend of my mother's when I had been a baby, so that friend was particularly special.  I considered them part of my family.

Having moved a few times over the years, I have strongly valued the importance of building a supportive network around me.  These people have not been part of my original nuclear family, but have been a very important part of my life.  When my children were young, I totally agreed that:

"It takes a village to raise a child"

Now my father is no longer with us and I am lucky enough to have my mother close by.  My 2 sisters don't see eye to eye, so what does that mean for my family? 

 

I met with my daughter yesterday for the first time in over a year.  We had a milkshake together and talked. Then she said that she no longer had a family and her life was going to be bad forever.

I did point out that she was well, healthy, lived independently, had a job, had a career underway at uni, had a boyfriend, had money in the bank, had a mum and a dad, 2 brothers, a Granny, a Nana and Opa, LOTS of Aunties and Uncles, cousins and friends.  From my side of the table, her life was looking pretty good.

Yes, our nuclear family has been broken - but it's still there and always will be. It just looks different from what I first imagined it to be.

Families come in all shapes and sizes - she's 19 and has very strong ideas of what is right and what is wrong.

When I asked her if I'd see her again . . . she said

". . . maybe . . ."

Parenting is hard!

I need help from the Village

 

 

Happy New Year 2017

 I've been doing a lot of things differently lately, and this holiday was no exception.  I just think that perhaps my life has changed and I am changing with it. I actually booked a holiday well in advance and was able to look forward to it.  It has made the long summer holidays disappear quickly, but that's OK.

 I went on a holiday to New Zealand  with my new partner and my mother.  Watching her enjoyment of all things new, was such a joy as she had never been on such a holiday before.  She is 85 and had to get her first passport which was very exciting.  We took the bus to Melbourne, and boarded a cruise ship that was wall to wall luxury. We enjoyed feeling very spoilt for 2 weeks.

 I don't know if I'm just getting fussy, or I'm actually going off coffee.  Is it my age? I'm not sure.  Is anyone else feeling the same?  I love the idea of coffee dates, and the smell, but I'm just not feeling the love that I used to feel for it. I'm a bit sad about it really.  What else does one drink on a "coffee date?"

 The Kiwi Farm we went to was great. I loved seeing them all hanging on the vines - thousands of them.

. . . and the scenery was like magic.  It was a lovely place to go for a holiday. 

 

 Now I'm back in "Normalsville" and it's almost time for school to start again, it feels but a dream. 

 

I've done a bit of travelling these last couple of years, so now it is time to bunker down and pretend to be serious about work...or not...

Either way there's always plenty of gardening to do.



Once a Year

 You wait all year for these

 Then on one day - 14 flowers all at once

. . . and they only last a day and a bit.  I wanted to pull up a deck chair and just gaze at them - but alas, I had to go off to school that day!

My Heart Can Sing Half A Song

 Thank you to all my blogging friends out there who sent words to me last week on the replies. I was desperate with worry and didn't know quite how much until my son finally answered my call last Friday.

 I broke down in tears and wept for my boy - my baby.

I was scared to hang up the phone in case he didn't pick it up again.

 He is fine - just got sick of the city and all it entails and locked himself away for 2 whole weeks.  I told him next time to just let his mother know.

That's a 50% success rate with my lost children.

I'll keep working on my other one.

New Office

 Here's another view from my new office. Not too shabby!

I've been having a lot of fun making terrariums lately with succulents. My youngest wanted one for his room, so I got busy and found a little garden gnome to put in with it. I have made it in an old giant coffee jar. He lives with his dad now, so I was pleased he wanted me to make something for him.

This is a picture of Miss Flowergarden. This is all I see of her these days.  She hasn't spoken to me since August 2015.  She says I have ruined her life and she doesn't believe in separation. She certainly doesn't believe in re-partnering and finding happiness again in life.  I am at a loss with her. I miss her - I feel that I have lost my only daughter. She is very determined for a young person of 19. I fear she has many hard life lessons to learn and I wonder if I'll ever see her again. My eldest son has also gone missing this week. He has just gone AWOL - off the radar - not to be contacted. He has lost his job in the city because he didn't turn up to work. He has Asperger's Syndrome and although he is 21 and high functioning, he also lacks a lot of insight into society, people, emotions and communication. My heart is breaking for these 2 children.

 

                                                 

Oh thank goodness for my garden.

Lots of Stories

 First of all, I have a new job.  Still teaching, but driving this bus full of library books around to 8 little country schools, teaching literacy lessons.  It's a 'sea-change' of sorts and very different to being in a big school of 540 kids going to schools now of about 12.  Lots of alone time which I like and the most beautiful country views.

 When I get home, I like to hang out in here.  My hot house is becoming a favourite place to relax after work. Sometimes I even have my breakfast out there. My plants love it too and from inside I get a beautiful view of my garden.

 This is one of my daily views as I drive along.

 I've done a spot of practical sewing.  My church pew got painted and jazzed up a bit, so I got new foam and covered it.  With the same fabric, I re-covered the cushions in the hot house on my new second hand couch.  Everything old is new again.

 I have had spectacular blooms in my garden this spring.  I forget what's coming so it's always a surprise.  These beared iris are very special outside my back door. I think my neighbour must have given them to me, as they divide each year and share.

 I had a big shed tidy up and found these mirrors just sitting around.  They used to be part of an old dressing table that was dismantled at one stage.  They have been very cleverly installed in my garden to make it look like I can see through the neighbours fence.  I just love them and they have added a special dimension to my garden.

 In the shed tidy, I found an old cymbal that I made into a bird feeder. I put it where I can view from my hot house.  I love watching the birds. 

 Hmmmm ... which brings me to the next story ...

do you see this little yellow canary?  Well I have 4 different rouge ones flying about my garden.  They talk to the ones in the aviary and seem very happy living in the wild.  I don't know if they were ones that have escaped in the past, or others - they are there every day, so I have put a feeder on the outside of the cage and they happily use that.  They bath in the garden bird baths and seem to be friends with the sparrows. 

Tip Toe

 So much pleasure was derived from this pot of Tulips

 They were right outside my back door, so I was able to drink in their beauty each time I looked outside.

 The morning sun shone on them and they just called me out again and again

 They lasted a good month and were well worth planting

Holiday Gardening

 So happy to be on holidays from school and to be in my garden.

 Lots of lovely treasures every day to find out there.

 I have some projects that I'll be working on - some new paths and some painting of my hot house.

 The combinations of these colours is just magic!

 My daughter's Birthday Blossom - she turned 19 - Prunus Elvins has always been one of my favourites.

 Lovely Tulips - fleeting, but worth it.

Enjoying the sun while it lasts, and some inside jobs if it rains.